bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
