That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Someone came in the potted fern
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
how drunk are you?
Several
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
