I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My breasts were aching with rage.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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