I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
