just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You had me at "let me see your balls"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
