i just had sex bonerless
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
