I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
