My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We named our party play list daddy issues
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
