did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
