he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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