so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
