i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
