When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
