ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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