Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
