So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
