So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Non-Jews are for practice
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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