He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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