Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
