I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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