Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
