Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
