he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
dude. I can hear the air.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
