So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
