i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
