I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just invented taco cereal.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
