my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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