I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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