Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
