Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize