I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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