well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
And then my night got REAL pukey
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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