the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Randomize
