Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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