Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
