i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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