I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
