could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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