I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
