I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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