you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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