I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
