Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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