I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
