Moan for me like Helen Keller
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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