kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
