It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize