I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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