I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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