I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
