he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
