Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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