actually, I'm a sock model
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
