I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
