Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
