:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
