meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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