She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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